Can't sleep!

This is bad. Real bad. I can't sleep. At all. Not one wink. Today....er yesterday wasn't bad by any means though. So I'm not sure what could be causing my insomnia! In any case I wish I could sleep. I'm definitely looking forward to tomorrow....er later today!

New Nightwish

The new Nightwish album is REALLY good, at least to start. The first three songs are immaculate and really the first song a 13+ minute epic is definitely one of the best songs I've ever heard. I listened to this CD like seven times today already, and like five times last night....lol.

If you like epic orchestral operatic awesome music get this!

Wake

I have become as Death
Forgive me...
For my Heart is devoid of emotion
Am I the cause...
Am I the cause...
Of all our Pains?
Or have I made my own the World's?

It has, it was, so difficult
To Love
How could I ever think...
To overcome
This swollen Hurt?
How could I ever think...
To sever
my Disdain?

I sometimes wonder
If I ever lived
The Life that was planned for me
Or did I transgress
The silent Decrees
Set forth to me
Before my Soul exhaled?

Where did I ever find the happiness to continue
Despite the harsh digression we were forced to take?

How did I ever learn
To even care?
Or was it only because
I knew...
I knew...
That you would
Never leave
That you would
No matter what
Forever and always
Be there.

It has, it was, so difficult
To Love
How could I ever think...
To overcome
This swollen Hurt?
How could I ever think...
To sever
my Disdain?

KV sucks.

King Vinegarroon is taking his good ole' time today. Either that or he depopped. Which I hope didn't happen!

Sunday...was a Good Day

Well, I finally got Altruistic Cape. Finally. Ix'DRK is easily one of the worst NMs in Sea, he just keeps going and going...and yesterday was no exception. Fourteen fucking reraises and it dropped Vice when I was trying to get our Einherjar run setup, so I was hardly paying any attention to the fact that it dropped!

Einherjar went incredibly well. I couldn't be more pleased that I had helped lead us to victory and set everything up to make it happen. I'm more pleased about the win than getting my cape...

I have a little less than 5k IS to go to ungimp my NIN by getting Perdu Blade. I can hardly wait. Hopefully I'll be seeing that this week.

Tonight is my LS's first Dynamis, we're going to do Bastok, hopefully getting the win so one of our members can finally experience the freezing chill of ice. More to come this week!

Hello people that somehow stumbled here!

I was informed today that a few people who have since quit FFXI have stumbled here. I'm sure it came to surprise that omg Lise is a transexual. Okay....and? I just want to put out there that people should ask me questions if they have any instead of coming to their own conclusions. I never lied, if many of you think that. :P

I am legally and physically for the lack of a better term female. I used to be a guy four years ago. USED TO BE. Anywho I <3 ya all thanks for finding my blog I hope you find some entertainment in it because that's what it's here for.

Special Ed Award for the Day!

So I've been at work for a couple hours now and I just now noticed that I put two different pairs of shoes on. >_>

Yeah...no one else can notice though as the shoes are practically identical. They both are black and leathery bootish kinda sexy shoes with a flaring heel. One was made in Italy the other in Singapore or something...the biggest difference are the tips of them one is more flat, while the other is more pointy. I'm surprised I didn't notice until just now haha!

Perfection

Tonight the Sky was ours
Painting the intricate flames
With our every step
As that which lay hidden below
Buried itself through the mechanisms
Of rebirth.
Shall we be enriched?
Or forsaken by our ancestry in the aeon to come?
Brazen were we to think
Of ourselves so high...
As we mistook our very end
In forgetfulness.

Sea Fun and some Random Thoughts...for the day

So let me start off by saying I love Sea. It's obvious as I spend the majority of my in game time there, but let me also say PM Mission 8-2 is incredibly frustrating with a lot of people....especially when the person that needs it has to get into bed at a reasonable hour. This mission was always long, I did mine with four people when I first got Sea and we had gotten through pretty quick with that setup. More than that though seems to be burden.

In other news, we popped Temperance at Elvaan tower only to see it depop. I wasn't livid, but I wasn't happy either.

The new LS is going great all-in-all people still have to learn a few things about stuff, but I think we'll be fine.

Concerning my real life, my job feels as unfruitful as ever, like a road leading to nowhere. I really really need to try and take a risk of moving and see if I can get a better job elsewhere despite not having finished my BA. I've been trying to save a decent amount of cash to finance for my surgeries and for a move...probably SoCal where I can share a place with Hanh. I only hope my family understands all this if I just somehow magically decide to pickup and leave, which is looking better by the moment.

I met through Craigslist someone who seems motivated to write music with me. We're probably going to meet up somewhere on Friday, I have to say I'm pretty scared, I hate talking to people in person most of the time, but I guess I shouldn't feel that way. There's really no reason to.

OH and one other thing, my hair, yes hair...it's going to be done on Saturday I can't wait! I'm probably going to lighten it up considerably and have an inch or so cut off to get rid of some of those pesky split-ends. ^^

So far, so good....

It's been a little over a week since I started DRFv2, and so far things seem to be okay. We have a mix of more experienced players to people that can't find the ass end of a Dodge Durango. I guess it's to be expected that I'd be getting some less than perfect people to join my LS but I'm going to have to work with what I have. I'm excited and skeptical about it all at the same time.

My rl is getting better, my relationships with the people in my life are mending slowly, and I'm learning to walk with more confidence trying to accept and love myself for who I am despite my imperfections. Outside of that I'm definitely worried about something that's been going on with my body internally. Hopefully it's not anything serious. I guess we'll find out on the 21st when I go to see my doctor.