Moving My Blog

I am moving my blog gradually to here which means I probably will not be writing here all that much in the foreseeable future. So adjust your browsers accordingly!

Recent Happenings

I haven't really been motivated to write about FFXI recently because I've been more or less doing the same thing I've been doing since the last time I wrote a little something on the game. Not that that's a bad thing, I just don't want to sit here and bore the living fuck out of my would-be readers. I've had a lot of different things happen in the last month especially in real life. I even went dancing and had a wonderful time with two of my favorite people in game (/wave Lea and Zar!). I plan on going to FFXI's fanfest in December which happens to be in Cali and it seems a lot of people who I know will be going, so it'll be exciting. My real life work is always an adventure and seemingly enough I've been getting to bed recently at a decent enough hour. Go figure.

I tend to think when things in life are neither great or bad that that is when life is truly good. Surely my life has been chugging along and I've been taking a minimal amount of punches recently from everyone, including my family, people at work, and idiots in game. Maybe it's just that time of year where people are just chill. I know I am. Life's been pretty good needless to say.

I've been working gradually on leveling White Mage to 75 after 3 years and I'm almost there, it's at 71 almost 72 now. It's quite exciting to ding into Herald's Gaiters and other gear. Overall I'm mostly completed with WHM gear wise. I think the only things I'm really missing is AF2 body and legs for a fully awesome and sexually attractive WHM. Lawl...I didn't just say that. REALLY I didn't!

The LS is still going strong though I've seen a slight decrease in attendance, but that's probably normal considering the time of year. We lost a really good tank and a WHM with shitty attitudes about a month ago, but I think outside of not camping HNMs so much there hasn't been to much of a change. We've still gotten Tiamat without them so I think eventually things will begin to eventually pick-up. I'm looking forward to more pwning with my LS, everyone is doing a pretty decent job and I couldn't be happier.

I am happy, I am but I've also been on edge lately, and I have no fucking clue as to why. Everyone has taken some sort of notice though I've told them that I'm okay, which I am. But like I said I have no idea why I feel like that, but it's not affecting me so much that I'm going to cut people, unless of course they cut me first. Maybe it's hormones, /shrug.

Tomorrow

I know that one day
I'll look back and I'll think
About my life now
As a thought from the past
It's distance though far
I'll be able to view
Like a bright Summer morning
Where the Sun greets the dew

And often I'll wonder
If things could have been done
To alter the life
Of my past present self
I'll sit and I'll think
As I ponder my days
Recalling my youth
In a black foggy haze

I know that one day
I'll grow to be old
Decrepit and weak
And ailing from age
I'll be Desperate to live
All the Spring days of my past
Just not the Winter
For those days are my last

I think now and on
That I'll cherish youth's gold
As I'll never retrieve
Yesterday, this I know
I'll breathe in the air
As my last knowing death
May come just as fast
As the release of my breath.

(When to) Let it Go

Just because you disagree...
...with every word I've said
...with every thing I've done
...with every step I've stepped

Just because you truly know...
...the way you feel is right
...the way I feel is wrong
...the way you do is best

Doesn't mean you have to keep...
...the grudge you've kept this long
...or care about some choice
...that's far beyond your grasp

Just because I chose the life...
...for me and no one else
...doesn't mean that it
...was a choice for you

Certainly you should live your life
...and learn to never care
For if your love of me is true
You wouldn't even dare.

Another Political Rant

God, what can I say? In terms of overall political views it's either A or it's B. That is, Republican or Democrat. Conservative or Liberal. Realist or Idealist. To be perfectly honest, I can't really say I fit any of these categories, though I'd really hate to say I'm smack dab in the middle able to move left or right depending on the direction of the wind. I tend to believe that much of our political beliefs come from not only our upbringing but also from our general outlooks on life itself. Depending on who you are exactly you may or may not have a particular view or share a specific philosophy as most of our lives differ so much. A woman who had a late term abortion for financial reasons may be considered the deadliest of sins for a woman who remained abstinent until she was married and had enough income to support a family whether it be through her own hard work and/or her husband's. Our political beliefs can also be directly linked to a certain stage of our lives. For instance, we may shift from a more Liberal to a Conservative viewpoint as we age. And really it's no surprise especially with how the two major political parties in the U.S. are today.

The Dems, especially with Barrack Obama at the helm seem to me as portraying themselves as a "Robin Hood" kind of party. A steal from the rich and give to the poor kind of group. And sure, from someone coming from a destitute background who only wants to achieve some sort of success in the world I can see why they would side with the Democrats and more Liberal points of view. They want to have everything that all the other people have. Hell, arguably the Dems are the party of the "have-nots" promising to make them "haves" with pipe dreams of true equality etc. Everyone should have everything everyone else has am I right? That's how most people in America see it. Material things have our country by the proverbial nut-sack.

Our country is luxuourious in the best sense of the word. We were and still are a post-modern Rome in the world, which is why every other country hates us. It's natural for people who are less fortunate and have nothing to detest those lucky enough to have everything that they do not including not only material things, but also opportunites. Is it bad when our own people start to do the very same thing the rest of the world has been doing to us since we made our lucky break after the American Civil War? I'd say so. I'd say the rest of the world is rubbing off on us. I'd say that the majority of Americans are trying to make sense of why the rest of the world hates us, and can only make sense of it by taking their point of view as their own.

I think it is on purpose that all of this is happening. Not to say that some evil genius sat down and engineered this problem, but I think the media, our politicians, our school teachers, and our parents made it a point to us that we should begin to hate the United States for what it is. I'm sure that the whole problem began sooner than the late 60s but surely it was then that we could've, should've, handled this problem with the utmost care. Although I'll be perfectly honest, in the end, whenever that may be, I don't think this would've been preventable.

Sure I'll admit. I share some Liberal points of view, I don't live the life of the straight and narrow conservative tight-ass to the letter, but I also know what's good for me. Work is something I MUST do. It is a duty to the success of myself. To the establishment of my mere existence. I cannot live without it, and work cannot live without me. Work cannot live without anyone, and everyone cannot live without work. Without work and sacrifice, our country would've never been.

It seems to me that most people voting Dem this election are those who want a free ride through life. They are those who think something is terribly unfair with the system of capitalism sitting there wondering, "Why can't I get a piece of that Banana Creme Pie?" Both of the candidates are absolute shit. Obama is just the person that'll end up fucking those of us ho try harder more in the end. I'd like to live in in a castle on Mars one day with fifty foot walls. With capitalism by my side, I theoretically could do it. Under capitalism you can do anything as long as you have collateral to back it up. Under a socialist society, however, I'll be hardpressed to even get a fifty foot wall built, even if I did earn it all by myself. Under a socialist economy and government they'd take the money I busted my ass for and give it to some schmuck who hasn't worked a goddamn day in his/her life to support his/her crack cocaine habit. What right does the government have to say, I'm too fortunate? If I put hard work into becoming that way why should they be able to take that away? It's not fucking right at all people, it's dead wrong! Dead fucking wrong.

If you earn something you should be able to reap the rewards of it. Plan and simple.

I remember sitting in early middle school with shiny new text books in social studies. I remember reading a whole chapter on socialism, Karl Marx and the like. A whole chapter! I remember being tested on it. The other thing I remember was thinking it wasn't such a bad idea, this socialism thing. I know better now of course, but I sit here and wonder out of the people that were taught about socialism in school and also thought it was a good idea, if they still think it is a good idea. I'd imagine the majority of those individuals do. I don't remember being taught about freedom much during my childhood and how important it is. I wasn't taught much about how the idea of freedom forged our country bringing a group of people together to defend a tangible ideal, especially towards the end of life in school. However, I do remember learning about socialism. Go figure.

Courage

I've been thinking a lot about courage recently. And needless to say, without it, I wouldn't have been able to get beyond the adversity that I've had in my life thus far. Standing up against insurmountable odds is courage. Everyday we are up against possible hurt or difficulty somehow thrown into the paths. Anything can happen at anytime, being able to live beyond that and speak about is only possible by standing up for what you truly believe. Living life itself takes a lot of courage, people murder themselves everyday because they simply felt they couldn't hack it by dealing with the cards they were given. I often wonder had people who committed suicide been more courageous and saw their destinies fulfilled, if the majority of them would be with us today. Life isn't a black hole, I don't think it was meant to be. We're here to learn something and face adversity with all guns blazing.

I've been apprehensive about things before. About committing myself to making something happen. It's like an invisible force that says "no you fucking can't." This outlook is brought on partially by fear, and partially by our natural human response towards making logical decisions. I think getting beyond this barrier is one of the most difficult things a person can do for themselves. Courage is about standing up for yourself, even if you're bound to fail. Failure begets eventual success, at least that's how I see it. Hell, the guy who made Hershey's Chocolate a household name failed more times with his business ventures than I can count on my hand. He eventually made it in the world because he had the courage to keep going. Running away from your dreams or problems for that matter will only result in depression, feelings of despair, further fear from overcoming adversity, as well as self-hatred. I've been there, I've seen myself at my worst, ready to drown myself in the bathtub because I thought I couldn't handle life. Something happened though. Something clicked, and I was the only one to ignite that within myself. It takes a lot to say "I can do this." It really does, but doing things is the only way we get things done.

Chew on that for a while! I bet it'll make your mouth tired from all the strength you'll need mustering up a little courage the next time you need it!

On the Financial Crisis

I tend to think the financial crisis was brought on by two things. Namely, banks lending money to individuals or institutions that couldn't pay them back. The second reason I think we're in a financial crisis is because we all made it up in our heads and decided that we were indeed in monetary turmoil.

The media has been portraying our economy as a theoretical glass house since George W. Bush entered office in 2000. Why is that exactly? I tend to think as with many other people that the far left liberals who support the Democratic party are at the helms of some if not all of the big media firms such as NBC, ABC, CBS, and Fox. I know it was the likes of Clear Channel that had pushed Howard Stern off of public radio after his opponents and naysayers were trying to get him off the airwaves twenty years prior to his exodus to Sirius Satellite Radio. It's strange how free speech works in this country, especially on television. For example, If you say something constructive towards someone (Barrack Obama) or something (a political party like the Democrats) the organization furnishing your ability to speak on television can shut you down if it's against the political orientation of the said channel. The far left drive-bys can even swap something around on a person making the public react negatively towards them since 9/10ths of the public seems to be swayed in their political decision making skills by what the telly says on the Nightly News everyday. The major networks know this, they know people will buy into whatever they say, they're reputable sources, and consistent in keeping up with the latest news and what have you so that everyone watching their channel can be turned into a mindless and potential proponent of the agenda in which their company is run.

Sure not everyone is going to buy into things right away, and even fewer will buy into them ever, but if the media is trying to pound something into our tiny human brains they're going to mention it over and over and over again. They'll mention it in passing, they'll have entire segments on a specific topic, and they'll even drop them into fictional shows all in the name of driving home their political agenda, whatever it may be. We have made it up in our heads that we are in a recession, a "New" Great Depression, or close to international economic collapse and it was the media that helped us think in that way.

If there was no form of readily available form of media would we be as affected by the so-called economy failing? Probably not, assuming this crisis isn't half as bad as the ruling class of Washington has made it. And even if there was an economic failure in a world without accessable media we still as occupants of what Barrack Obama termed as "Main Street" probably wouldn't feel the amount of backlash that we're expected to have, as the companies, banks, brokers, and lobbyists that were the direct cause of the entire problem.

In closing, I am highly amused at the amount of power the government thinks they have, if the people that originally brought this country together saw what was happening now, I think they'd be angry, and confused at exactly how we got to this supposed economic crisis. The government is getting too involved with everything, and I don't think it'll end well if Washington continues their pledge to erase everyone's mistakes without some form of punishment or atonement. Our money and currency were never supposed to be invisible.

People shouldn't be able to pull money out of thin air, especially when it really never existed in the first place.